The Amber Saga
Chapter 1 : the beginning
2-3-13
It’s been a while since I last wrote something in this journal so umm….. Yeah here it goes.
Life has gotten a lot better recently, I have been talking with Caroline an old ex of mine in hopes that her and I could get back together. When I would talk to her it seemed like It was a sure fire thing that we would date one another once again but that wasn’t the case. Caroline and I went to Roll A Bout about two and a half weeks ago and I thought that would be the perfect place to ask her out but once she seen her ex-boyfriend Mikey Miatech I had no chance what so ever. She was head over hills for him. I watched the both of them as they were skating together and to be honest it angered me so much but the night was still young so I wasn’t giving up. Mikey asked Caroline out eventually and she said “ok” and so that just angered me even more but something else happened that night that I wasn’t expecting. Caroline’s best friend Amber was sitting alone in a corner at Roll A Bout with the saddest look on her face. I went up to her and asked her “what’s wrong?”, “are you ok?” she told me that she was just thinking about this guy that broke her heart that she loved with all her heart and soul. I talked to her for a while and eventually cheered her up. As the night went on I eventually asked her out and she said yes of course but that’s not all, she and I requested for them to play “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes. Once they finally played it I looked right into Amber’s eyes and started singing to her. She loved every second of it and she was blushing so much. After the song was over she and I kissed and she hugged me real tight and told me she almost cried when I was singing to her. The following weekend on Saturday I got to spend time with her at her house and Valentine’s Day had passed so I brought along a little soft teddy bear I bought for her on Valentine’s Day. We had so much fun at her house that day, we played tag just for fun and to have a good laugh, there were also times where I would type in a song on YouTube and sing it to her, I did that about five times. She said that the song that I sang to her that she loved the most was “Cowboys and Angels” it’s a really good country love song. About an hour before my mother came to bring me back home she and I gave each other hickeys. The ones she gave me were darker and more noticeable than the ones I gave her. When my mom arrived at her house to pick me up I gave her one last hug and kiss, I told her goodbye. I’ll admit when I got to my mom’s cars I was smiling like a dog that just got his favorite treat. When my mother seen my hickeys she asked me “Are you still a virgin?” and I told her I was in which I really was and still am because I don’t lie. When I got home I Skyped with Amber and she told me her mother had seen the hickeys on her neck and she told me that she responded with “I burned my neck while straitening my hair” I have to admit that Amber is the smartest and coolest girlfriend I have had so far.
3-4-13
I got to hang out with my friends this weekend at the mall and I had a lot of fun but Brandon and I kind of felt like 3rd wheels because neither of us had our girlfriends with us but our two other friends did. At first it really didn't bother me that my girlfriend wasn't hanging with us but after a while it started to. So I just had my mom come pick Brandon and I up from the mall. The next day my friends and I did a little bit of parkour. We found six buildings that we could climb and get on top of. I felt so free and alive when I was high up in the air on top of a building. After my friends went back home Sunday I started thinking about my girlfriend Amber hour after hour while listening to country love songs. I really hope I can go to the all night skate this coming up Friday with her and just have the time of my life. It feels like it’s been forever since the last time I seen her and held her in my arms. I don’t know how to explain it but, Amber's hugs are so warm, her smile is so bright, and her beautiful glowing brown eyes just pull me in. when I am around Amber I feel so free and happy and I feel like all my worries just……disappear. When she and I are with one another it’s just so peaceful and the time I have with her is very precious to me because I only get to see her once or twice a week at most. We have been together for almost a month now and I’m hoping our relationship will have plenty more months to come. Sometimes I sit back and wonder what goes through her mind when she thinks about me. I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. I’ll be honest when Amber and I first started dating my heart was still shattered into a million pieces because of all the pain and suffering my ex-girlfriend Bridget put me through; so I still had the fear of becoming even more heart broken. With Amber I don’t feel like I have to worry about her hurting me, I feel like I can trust her to take care of my heart and heal the scars that others have left on it.
3-11-13
This weekend went exactly as planned, I got to hang out with my friends, we did some free running, danced to the Harlem shake, and on top of everything else I was able to spend some time with my girlfriend. Sunday is the day I was finally able to see her, my brother drove me to her house. It felt like it took days to get there because I was so excited. When we finally arrived at her house I knocked on her door and when she opened the door I gave her a really big hug and held her tight because it had been so long since the last time I saw her. I had lots of fun while spending time with her, we watched some movies on Netflix, played tag just to have a good laugh, went to the baseball park and lied in the grass beside one another while just staring at the beautiful ocean blue sky. As we were walking back to her house her brother Josh just so happen to drive by in a car with a friend of his, he gave me an evil look, the kind of look that you give to someone you hate with a passion. She talked to her brother for a few seconds and then we went along with our day walking back to her house. When we got there we watched Futurama on Netflix while lying beside each other on a bed that they have in their living room. When we were lying there beside one another I whispered into her ear saying “My love is deeper than the holler, stronger than the rivers, higher than the pine trees growing tall upon the hill” “My love is purer than the snow flakes, that fall in late December, and honest as a robin on a spring time window seal, and longer than the song of a whipper will. A little while later that day I told Amber I wanted to sing to her so freaking bad so she used the Wi-Fi connection she has on her Wii to go to YouTube so I could look up some songs that I wanted to sing. I sang to her about five or six times. She loved every second of it, the third song I sang to her was “I’m already there” and towards the end of the song I began crying, they were tears of joy. Amber however didn't know I was crying out of happiness so after the song was over she told me not so sing anymore because she was afraid I was going to cry even more. I told her they weren't tears of sadness but she still didn't want me singing to her again so I just took a little break until I finally convinced her to let me sing once more. At one point she seemed like she was getting bored of my singing so after the fifth song I told her that if my singing was getting boring then I would stop but she told me she didn't mind and that she wanted me to continue and so I did. I was glad to know she was enjoying the songs I was singing to her but I still have a feeling she was getting tired of it just a little bit even though she didn't want to admit it to me. I understand she probably just didn't want to hurt my feelings but I still want her to be honest with me no matter what. Speaking of being honest, on Friday two days before I seen Amber I went to roll a bout, I wish Amber could of came but she had a wedding practice thing she had to attend. When everybody started dancing it made me want to leave because I wanted to dance with Amber but a friend of mind that is a girl offered to dance with me. I didn't mind dancing with her but I was still wishing it was Amber that I was dancing with. I felt kind of guilty for dancing with someone else and not my own girlfriend. I told her on Sunday that I danced with someone and she didn't seem to mind just so long as the other girl and I weren't grinding on each other. Even though Amber told me she didn't mind me dancing with someone else I’m still not going back to any all-night skate unless Amber is with me, one main reason for that is because well I wouldn't want Amber going to an all-night skate without me and start dancing with another guy because well she is mine and I don’t like to share plain in simple. Amber doesn't like sharing neither so that’s another main factor on why I’m not going again unless she tags along. Well anyways back to what I was talking about before. Around 9:30 my mom was coming to pick me up so when I realized I only had 20 minutes left with her I made every minute count, we hugged each other tight, kissed, told one another that we love each other and said our last goodbye’s once my mother was there. I won’t be able to see her for another 2 weeks most likely so I’m just glad I had plenty of time with her this weekend but I’m still going to miss her like crazy during these next two weeks. Most of the time my mind is clouded by darkness caused by stress and frustration but within that darkness there is a bright light that shines through it, that light is Amber. She makes me feel so free and happy, when she and I are together all my worries just go away. Time with Amber is like a real big piece of heaven and I hate leaving her because she gets real upset and sad when I do. When she does get upset when I leave I just tell her that we will be together again soon and that I will be with her no matter where she is. I explain this in further detail by telling her “ I’m the beat in your heart, I’m the sunshine in your hair, I’m the whisper in the wind, I’m the moonlight shining down, I’m the shadow on the ground, and that I’ll be with you were ever you are………my darling.”
Chapter 2
3-13-13
Well I didn't right anything yesterday because I didn't go to school. Reason being was because I was very stressed out over some messages I had seen between my girlfriend and some guy she messaged on Facebook. Later that day I re-looked at the messages and seen that the date the messages were sent was before her and I even met so I kind of felt bad for getting mad at my girlfriend over old messages so later on that day I sent her a message telling her I was sorry. I also felt like I was being kind of obsessive by looking through her messages so from now on I’m not going look through them because I trust her and I don’t want to lose her over me being to freaking nosy. Yesterday I was skyping with her; we talked for a little bit, shared a few jokes, told each other how much we love one another and etc. Well as the conversation went on she was talking when I said just out of the blue “you are so freaking beautiful” and when I said that she looked at me and just started blushing. Her cheeks were redder than an apple. I did the same thing again during the conversation except this time I said “ya know if I was with you right now I would gently move your hair out of your face, look you in the eyes, smile, and then just kiss you passionately. She blushed once more when I told her that, but this time her whole face was red. I also told her that I won’t be able to take her to prom. So for the day of prom I want to do something very memorable and meaningful with Amber, I want it to be a night neither one of us will never forget, she means the world to me and nothing makes me happier than seeing a beautiful smile on her face.
3-15-13
Yesterday I was surprised to see that Amber had gotten on Facebook early then usually because normally she has to go to fit4life after the bell rings at her school to go home. I had completely forgotten that she don't have to go to that on Thursday's or Fridays well anyways I had talked to her for a little while on Facebook then I was finally able to talk to her on the phone. I only had a little bit of time to talk to her before I had to start cleaning the house so we told each other how ours day went and told one another how much we loved each other as usual. Right before I got off the phone I went to YouTube and played the song "Wanted" and started singing it to her. I felt kind of ridiculous by singing to her over the phone rather than in person but turns out she loved every second of it. About half way through singing to her I stopped and when I did said “Are you going to keep singing?” And honestly it meant the world to me when she wanted me to keep singing. I hope I can see her sometime this weekend after she comes back from the reenactment in Georgia. Sometimes I feel like I am being too clingy with Amber sometimes but she always reassures me that I’m not being clingy and that I’m doing fine. I’m glad that she lets me know I’m doing ok but I guess the reason why I worry about being to clingy is because I am afraid that if I become too clingy she will leave me and I will be left heartbroken once again. I don’t ever want to lose Amber, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, A girl like Amber deserves to be treated right by someone who can love and care for her. Someone who will always help pick her back up on her feet when she falls, Someone that can keep her happy, and Someone that can make her feel……wanted.
3-20-13
Yesterday I was finally able to hang out with Amber once again. I met her step dad named Travis and to be honest I was so freaking nervous. I was afraid he wouldn't like me. when I first seen him he had this look on his face like just wanted to blow my brains out. Amber's mom cooked a pot roast and homemade biscuits for dinner. We all sat down at the dinner table and began eating. it was a really good meal but I noticed Amber's grandpa was just staring at me real hard when I was eating. I think he was trying to scare me and if he was well I hate to disappoint him but it didn't work. After we was done eating Amber and I ran outside and played tag. it was funny when she tried running from me because I had to slow down considering I am so much faster than her and most people I know. we took a break from playing tag and i decided to lay in the grass with her sitting beside me with my head in her lap. As I was lying there with my head in her lap she and I began looking at one another in the eyes with such a spark that made us want ot kiss each other passionately with such love so.....we did. In the mist of our lips pressing against one another's Amber's mother came outside and seen us kissing and said " Ya'll better not let Travis see you two kissing like that" After that happened we walked to the side of her house and started talking about trust so I confessed to her about what really happened at the all night skate at Roll A Bout skating Rink. After I told her about everything that had happened I told her how sorry I was multiple times and how much regret i was feeling for doing the things I did. she told me she wasn't mad at me but she was upset. I told her it was a one time mistake and that it would never happen again then I hugged her real tight. I also promised her that I would never go to another all night skate night ever again unless she came with me. we went back inside her house and watched "Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2" the movie was better than I expected. when it was time for me to go home we decided to take some last minute pictures of her and I and post them on Facebook for more memories. after we was done taking pictures we hopped in her mom's truck and headed back to my house, when we got there Amber and I went inside for a couple of minutes to have some quality time alone. She got to meet my friend Michael for the first time and right before she had to go I picked her up off her feet, wrapped her legs around my waist and began kissing her. two minutes after she left Amber called me on her mother's cell phone. she told me she was already missing me and she wanted to talk to me until she got home. I wanted nothing more than to talk to her but my head was freaking killing me so I told her I had a headache and that I loved her with all my heart but I had to get off, go to bed, and relieve the pain. She seemed upset that I had to get off the phone but she understood I had a reason for doing so.
Chapter 3
4-3-13 part 1
Well it’s been a good while since I added a new journal entry so here it is: I have been having lots of fun with my bros and especially the love of my life Amber in the past 14 days so I have lots to write about. This past Sunday I had to wake up early and get ready so I could go to Amber's house. Amber's sister Ashley wanted me to get there early. I end up getting there with plenty of time to spare but the funny thing is Ashley got there really late; she got there around 12:00 o'clock. The reason she wanted me to get there early was because we was going to the movies on a double date. We didn't go to the movie theater right away, we first went to a Mexican restaurant. After we sat down and ordered our food Amber and I began playing tag by poking one another and saying “tag your it" like two goof balls. While we were at the restaurant I was surprised Amber's sister didn't ask me any questions. When we left we went to an Easter egg hunt thing at a church where Ashley let her little girl participate in the Easter egg hunt. At the church they had some blow up things like a bouncy house and a slide thing. Even though Amber and wasn't little kids we didn't care, we went on the blow up slide anyways like to idiots because her and I don't care what people think because we are weird like that. We talked about allot of things while we were there, we talked about our relationship and how much we loved each other. We also talked about the future of our relationship and about what we wanted to do, and the what if's so we would be prepared in case something happened that is unexpected. After we left the church we went to Ashley's house for a quick minute. While we were there some girl Amber knows tried flirting with me but I didn't flirt back of course. Right before we left to go to her grandma's to drop of Ashley's kids off the girl that was flirting me gave me a hug and well it didn't sit too well with Amber. When she seen her give me a hug she quickly said in an angry voice "I'll cut a bitch" I thought it was kind of funny when she said that. After we dropped Ashley and Dylan (Ashley’s boyfriend) kids off we finally went to the movie theater to watch the movie Mama. I had been dying to see that movie and so had Amber. the movie was pretty good, Amber jumped allot during the movie but when she did I held her in my arm to try calming her down and making her feel self but to be honest I was scared myself but I tried not showing it in front of Amber. At the end of the movie Amber cried and I couldn't help myself so I called her a cry baby. She smacked my arm for calling her a cry baby. She apologized later for doing it because after we walked out of the movie theater I wouldn't hold her hand because of her slapping me. I forgave her but I thought it was funny for her to go from being mad at me one minute and then suddenly apologizes the next. After the movie Ashley took me home, Amber walked me inside the house she said hey to anyone that was at my house and before she left she gave me a hickey. It was a small one but I still appreciated it. I know that sometimes Amber has thoughts of me possibly leaving her one day but if she could look inside my mind and just see how much I truly loved her then she would know 100% that I have no intentions of leaving her. she is the reason why I live so happily every day of my life, when I'm happy she makes me even happier, when I'm sad she cheers me up, I'm always going to be there for her and she will always be there for me through thick and thin. She and I are meant to be, it was destiny that Amber and I met. She is my soul mate, I plan to marry her and be with her for the rest of my life and no one is ever going to change my mind she is too perfect to just let go. I just wanna wrap her up, wanna kiss her lips I, wanna make her feel wanted, I wanna call her mine, wanna hold her hand forever and never let her forget it because baby I wanna make you feel................wanted, because you'll always..............be wanted <3
4-3-13 part 2
Tuesday Amber's mom came to my house to pick me up so I could go to Amber's house and see her but Amber wasn't in the truck with her mom when she came and got me because she was still asleep so basically her mom and I was going to surprise her by having me get back to their house before she woke up. When we got there Amber was just waking up and she had a smile on her face when she seen but she was still a tired and she had a headache so she didn't feel like getting off the bed in their living room. I didn't mind it though, I just smiled, walked over to her and sat down right beside Amber started poking her in the face repeatedly while saying "wake up" over and over again but I didn't know she had a headache until she told me in which was after I got done poking her face. Luckily her mom had some pain killers Amber could have to take away the pain and Amber's mom and I went to MC Donald's right before we arrived at their house so Amber had some chicken nuggets waiting for her when she woke up. When she finally got out of bed she went over to the table where her chicken nuggets were and began eating them but as she was eating them I was stealing some of the nuggets left and right. She didn't seem to mine though. After she got done eating her and I sat down on the bed in the living room of her house and began taking silly little pictures. We must have taken at least eight pictures on her mom’s I Phone. I love taking Pictures with her because it builds up more memories to look back on one day. After we were done doing that she and I went to her bathroom and started taking even more random, funny, and memorable pictures and so she could straighten her air. I told Amber that her hair was fine because honestly no matter how messy her hair might be she will always look beautiful in my eyes. But she insisted on straightening it anyways so I wasn't going to argue with her because once she had her mind set on doing something she's going to do it. As they day went on we told each other how much we love one another just like any couple would do but we also had heart to hearts conversation as well. At one point I was walking around in her house and noticed a wooden sword. I thought it was pretty cool so I grab it and start swinging it around like I was some ninja or something but little did I know Amber seen me swinging the sword around. So she decided to quickly grab her mom's phone and started recorded me. After I noticed her recording it I begged her not to post it on Facebook but she did it anyway but I didn't mind because I thought it was kind of funny. After a while her step dad Travis gets home after a long day of work but luckily he wasn't watching us like hawks when he got there. He was too tired to do so and just so he went straight to his room and took a nap. Amber's mom cooked a chicken pot roast for dinner and for sides she cooked, green beans, and macaroni and cheese. The food was pretty good but Amber and I started to grow bored of sitting at the dinner table so when we as done eating we went and sat back down on the bed in her living room. Travis had to work on some chair for a friend of his so he went outside out to a building where he makes chairs and other things. When he went out there I kind of got carried away started biting Amber on the neck and accidently gave Amber a hickey and not just any hickey, it was the best hickey I have ever given her. I honestly had no intention on given her a hickey that day but sometimes shit happens. After I was done giving her an accidental hickey Amber went to the bathroom and covered it up with makeup but it was still noticeable. At one point Amber got kind of bored and started playing temple run in her mom’s phone but she had been doing that all freaking day so I decided to grab the darn phone but it down beside the bed and told her to take a break from playing games because I wanted to cuddle with her. She didn't argue with me because she liked the idea so we did. There's nothing I love more than just cuddle with the love of my life with no interruptions and just some peace and quietness. The cuddling only lasted for about two minutes because Amber's mom told her to get up and iron some reenactment clothes. After a while of ironing Amber started getting frustrated with the clothes because some of the wrinkles refused to come out so I calmly walked over to her, went right behind her and began giving her a back message to calm her down a little bit. I guess it helped because she didn't seemed as stressed while I was doing it. Well anyways considering after she got done ironing we got back on the bed and started video chatting with my friend Michael Morrison. I was trying to talk to him about a Super Nintendo he had found in his house but Amber kept biting me on the neck like a freaking vampire. It felt really good though I have to admit. We began kissing even though we was still on video chat with Michael but he didn't mind, in fact he went along with it by playing some love music in the background which was really funny. Every time he played it Amber and I would stop kissing and would start busting out laughing. Amber's mother came into the living room and told us to get ready because she was taking me home so we told Michael we had to go but before we got off of video chat with him he told Amber to bring him some cheese because he was walking over to my house after got off of web cam chat with him. Amber got some Mexican cheese out of her refrigerator. When we arrived at my house Amber walked with me inside like always. We looked around in my house and noticed Michael hadn't shown up yet so I told her I would make sure he got the cheese she had for him. My sister and her little friends were at the house so Amber gave them all a hug then her and I went to my room for a couple of minutes to get some peace and quiet. As soon as I shut my bedroom door I picked her up off her feet, wrapped her legs around my waste and began kissing her passionately and then I slowly walked over to my bed and laid her down on it. I looked into her eyes, smiled and began kissing her once again. After that she had to go but before she did I made sure she gave me the best hickey ever. I kissed her goodbye locked the door when she left and started reminiscing on every little thing we did that day. I love Amber will all my heart and soul and the fire of love for her that runs through my veins, heart and soul will never be distinguished. She is my beautiful kind, loving, and caring angel god had blessed me with and I will never give up on her no matter what. Amber is everything I ever wanted in my life and I am thankful to have her, I love you so much Amber, you make me feel like a little kid again, you make me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach every time I'm around you. Your my better half, we're like yin and yang, you need me and I need you. Nothing will ever come between us and the loving bond we have.
Chapter 4
4-16-13
This past weekend was the most memorial weekend of my life. I woke up early Saturday so I could see Amber as soon as possible. After my mom woke up she drove me to her house but unfortunately Amber wasn’t there. The night before Amber spent the night at her grandfather’s house so her grandpa probably just hadn’t brought her home yet. As I was patiently waiting for her to arrive I was talking with her older brother Josh and her uncle Charlie so the time would past by quicker as I waited for her to get there. When Amber finally arrived Josh told said “ she’s here” and as soon as he said that I quickly tried getting behind the door do she wouldn’t see my when she walked in but I didn’t do it fast enough and she seen me trying to hide behind the door. Well anyways when she caught me I laughed and so did she. After we was done laughing at my stupidity I looked her right in the eyes, smile, and then gave her a really tight hug and I didn’t let go I held her in my arms for a good minute because it felt like it had been so long since I last seen her. It’s funny because the more I right about this memorable day, the more I feel my heart beat and the feeling of butterflies just flying around in my stomach. We was both hoping that Josh would leave so her and I could have some alone time but he decided to stay which sucked for us because we knew he would be watching us like a hawk. Later that day Amber’s Sister Ashley and Ashley’s fiancé Dylan called and told us to get ready because they was taking us to their little boy’s first birthday party. Aden is the name of the little boy nut everyone calls him Blaze because he has a pass afire that says “blaze” on it and also because his middle name is Blaze. When they finally arrived to pick us up we all hopped in the car, Amber and I sat in the back with each other while holding hands. When we got to Ashley and Dylan’s house we went inside sat down while we was waiting for the food on the grill and in the kitchen to be done cooking. When all the food was ready we went into the kitchen grabbed a plate of food and chowed down. After everyone was done eating it was time to bring out the cake and sing happy birthday to Blaze. I must say it was really cool to be a part of one of Amber’s family events. After we sat Blaze down in front of a big cupcake they bought just for him it was kind of funny to watch and see what he was going to do. I’m not sure he knew what to think about the cake so he just winged it by digging his little hands into it and shoving icing in his mouth and he got a lot if the icing on his face just like any little baby would do. When Blaze was done eating his supersized cupcake Amber and I got a plate and got a piece of the cake which tasted pretty good but what I though was funny was as I was eating my piece of cake Amber decided to smear some icing on my face from her cake. I thought it was cute when she did that so I did the same to her. After her and I was done eating cake she and I went out and walked to the back yard to play and act like the silliest cutest couple on the planet. I didn’t forget how she told me that one thing she always wanted me to do for her was give her a piggy back ride and so I said to Amber “do you want that piggy back ride you have been asking for?” and when I asked her that question Amber’s face became so red and bright and she had the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face since I and her have been together. She replied by saying “really!!!!!!!!!?” and so I told her “yeah really” so squatted down and told her to hop on and so she did. I walked around with her on my back for a little bit but then I asked her “where do you wanna go” she said “the front yard” so I ran to the front yard as fast as I could with her riding on my back as she was saying “weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” in such a happy tone of voice. I didn’t go all the way to the front yard like she asked me to but I think it was because I accidentally got the porch and front yard switched around and confused myself like an idiot. I don’t think she minded though I think she was just happy to receive the piggy back ride she has been asking for me to give her for such a long time. After the party was over and everything was all said and done we went back to Amber house but before we went back we stopped at Dollar general because at the party her uncle Charlie had given all the kids one dollar each heck he even gave me one surprisingly. Amber and I was walking in dollar general holding hands like we always do and as we are walking around Amber found the perfect thing to buy. It was strawberry lip gloss and not only did she like it but so did I and I have to admit when her and I kissed it sure did feel good on my lips. When we left Dollar General and went back to her house she called her mom and asked if I could spend the night considering the fact that Ashley, Dylan, Charlie would be there to watch us and make sure we wouldn’t do anything. Thankfully her mom said I could but only with the condition that Travis could not find out or be told by anyone one. We agreed to the condition and circumstance and proceeded to have the best day and……night that she and I will never forget. The next day was when I woke up It felt so cool to be able to wake up with her wrapped in my arms and it was even more memorable to see her beautiful face and smile when she seen I was still there with her that morning. When everybody was awake we all got ready, got our shoes on and went to a flea market where I bought necklaces for Amber and I even though she told me not to get her one. When it started to become too hot we left the flea market and went to sir pizza to get a bite to eat. Then after that we went back to Ambers for a little while longer before her sister had to take me back home. When they were bringing me back home the song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes came on so I started singing to Amber like any good boyfriend should do for his girlfriend and my singing sure did put a smile on her face and made her cheeks rosy red. When we was finally at my house she walked in side with me for a couple of minutes and said hey to my mom and little sister then went with me to my room so she could give me a hickey but what she didn’t know was I had a surprised gift for her. As she was giving me a hickey I reached into my dresser beside my bed and pulled out a little box that had a heart shaped necklace in it and said “I hope you like it”. When she seen it her face lit up so bright and she had the prettiest smile on her face. She was so happy I got her that necklace, she gave me a hug and a very passionate kiss then after that she had to go. I love making Amber blush and every time I get to see her I just love giving her hugs it’s like my favorite thing to do because she’s everything to me and I would do anything for her. She is my world and I don’t just want to make her feel wanted I want to make her feel needed, special, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, and free as a bird high in the sky like the stars in the night and the sun during the day. She’s my beautiful angel and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else, she’s the best thing a man could ever ask for <3
5-1-13
Amber and I broke up recently because she said she felt that I didn't trust her and that maybe she and I just needed some time apart. I didn't really understand it at the time and I got very upset and angry but the other day I was able to talk with Amber over the phone and I asked her to tell me the honest truth on why she really broke up with me. She told me it was because her parents practically kept bugging her to and eventually forced her to mainly because of her and I having sex behind there backs. But I wish I knew that before I told a girl I knew that I would give her a chance to date me because she has liked me for the longest time. After Amber and I broke up, Krystal asked me If I would date her and I told her I would give her a chance because it seemed like I wasn't going to be with Amber again anytime soon but after I talked with Amber on the phone and cleared everything up with her it made me wish I didn't asked Krystal out today. I feel bad but not only did I ask her out but I sang to her while I was doing it so when I broke up with her at lunch today I felt like a total jackass. Surprisingly when I told her she actually understood and took the brake up way better then I thought she would but her best friend Bridget however did not. Bridget was pretty upset with me and thought I broke Krystal's heart. I tried to explain and tell her that it wasn't my intention to do that but she wouldn't listen she just stormed off and sat back down at the lunch table. I kind of figured Bridget would react the way she did, I mean after all I did use to date her so I knew her personality pretty well. I just hope now that I got all that out of the way hopefully I can talk with Amber's parents and try my best to convince them to allow Amber to be with me once again. If things don't go as planned and Amber and I don't get back together like I hope then oh well I guess I'll just be single for a while to figure things out and I won't ever forget the amazing relationship she and I had with one another. This chapter of my life may have ended but its one chapter that I'll never forget.
Pictures from this time of my life that I had with Amber are below.
Chapter 1 : the beginning
2-3-13
It’s been a while since I last wrote something in this journal so umm….. Yeah here it goes.
Life has gotten a lot better recently, I have been talking with Caroline an old ex of mine in hopes that her and I could get back together. When I would talk to her it seemed like It was a sure fire thing that we would date one another once again but that wasn’t the case. Caroline and I went to Roll A Bout about two and a half weeks ago and I thought that would be the perfect place to ask her out but once she seen her ex-boyfriend Mikey Miatech I had no chance what so ever. She was head over hills for him. I watched the both of them as they were skating together and to be honest it angered me so much but the night was still young so I wasn’t giving up. Mikey asked Caroline out eventually and she said “ok” and so that just angered me even more but something else happened that night that I wasn’t expecting. Caroline’s best friend Amber was sitting alone in a corner at Roll A Bout with the saddest look on her face. I went up to her and asked her “what’s wrong?”, “are you ok?” she told me that she was just thinking about this guy that broke her heart that she loved with all her heart and soul. I talked to her for a while and eventually cheered her up. As the night went on I eventually asked her out and she said yes of course but that’s not all, she and I requested for them to play “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes. Once they finally played it I looked right into Amber’s eyes and started singing to her. She loved every second of it and she was blushing so much. After the song was over she and I kissed and she hugged me real tight and told me she almost cried when I was singing to her. The following weekend on Saturday I got to spend time with her at her house and Valentine’s Day had passed so I brought along a little soft teddy bear I bought for her on Valentine’s Day. We had so much fun at her house that day, we played tag just for fun and to have a good laugh, there were also times where I would type in a song on YouTube and sing it to her, I did that about five times. She said that the song that I sang to her that she loved the most was “Cowboys and Angels” it’s a really good country love song. About an hour before my mother came to bring me back home she and I gave each other hickeys. The ones she gave me were darker and more noticeable than the ones I gave her. When my mom arrived at her house to pick me up I gave her one last hug and kiss, I told her goodbye. I’ll admit when I got to my mom’s cars I was smiling like a dog that just got his favorite treat. When my mother seen my hickeys she asked me “Are you still a virgin?” and I told her I was in which I really was and still am because I don’t lie. When I got home I Skyped with Amber and she told me her mother had seen the hickeys on her neck and she told me that she responded with “I burned my neck while straitening my hair” I have to admit that Amber is the smartest and coolest girlfriend I have had so far.
3-4-13
I got to hang out with my friends this weekend at the mall and I had a lot of fun but Brandon and I kind of felt like 3rd wheels because neither of us had our girlfriends with us but our two other friends did. At first it really didn't bother me that my girlfriend wasn't hanging with us but after a while it started to. So I just had my mom come pick Brandon and I up from the mall. The next day my friends and I did a little bit of parkour. We found six buildings that we could climb and get on top of. I felt so free and alive when I was high up in the air on top of a building. After my friends went back home Sunday I started thinking about my girlfriend Amber hour after hour while listening to country love songs. I really hope I can go to the all night skate this coming up Friday with her and just have the time of my life. It feels like it’s been forever since the last time I seen her and held her in my arms. I don’t know how to explain it but, Amber's hugs are so warm, her smile is so bright, and her beautiful glowing brown eyes just pull me in. when I am around Amber I feel so free and happy and I feel like all my worries just……disappear. When she and I are with one another it’s just so peaceful and the time I have with her is very precious to me because I only get to see her once or twice a week at most. We have been together for almost a month now and I’m hoping our relationship will have plenty more months to come. Sometimes I sit back and wonder what goes through her mind when she thinks about me. I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. I’ll be honest when Amber and I first started dating my heart was still shattered into a million pieces because of all the pain and suffering my ex-girlfriend Bridget put me through; so I still had the fear of becoming even more heart broken. With Amber I don’t feel like I have to worry about her hurting me, I feel like I can trust her to take care of my heart and heal the scars that others have left on it.
3-11-13
This weekend went exactly as planned, I got to hang out with my friends, we did some free running, danced to the Harlem shake, and on top of everything else I was able to spend some time with my girlfriend. Sunday is the day I was finally able to see her, my brother drove me to her house. It felt like it took days to get there because I was so excited. When we finally arrived at her house I knocked on her door and when she opened the door I gave her a really big hug and held her tight because it had been so long since the last time I saw her. I had lots of fun while spending time with her, we watched some movies on Netflix, played tag just to have a good laugh, went to the baseball park and lied in the grass beside one another while just staring at the beautiful ocean blue sky. As we were walking back to her house her brother Josh just so happen to drive by in a car with a friend of his, he gave me an evil look, the kind of look that you give to someone you hate with a passion. She talked to her brother for a few seconds and then we went along with our day walking back to her house. When we got there we watched Futurama on Netflix while lying beside each other on a bed that they have in their living room. When we were lying there beside one another I whispered into her ear saying “My love is deeper than the holler, stronger than the rivers, higher than the pine trees growing tall upon the hill” “My love is purer than the snow flakes, that fall in late December, and honest as a robin on a spring time window seal, and longer than the song of a whipper will. A little while later that day I told Amber I wanted to sing to her so freaking bad so she used the Wi-Fi connection she has on her Wii to go to YouTube so I could look up some songs that I wanted to sing. I sang to her about five or six times. She loved every second of it, the third song I sang to her was “I’m already there” and towards the end of the song I began crying, they were tears of joy. Amber however didn't know I was crying out of happiness so after the song was over she told me not so sing anymore because she was afraid I was going to cry even more. I told her they weren't tears of sadness but she still didn't want me singing to her again so I just took a little break until I finally convinced her to let me sing once more. At one point she seemed like she was getting bored of my singing so after the fifth song I told her that if my singing was getting boring then I would stop but she told me she didn't mind and that she wanted me to continue and so I did. I was glad to know she was enjoying the songs I was singing to her but I still have a feeling she was getting tired of it just a little bit even though she didn't want to admit it to me. I understand she probably just didn't want to hurt my feelings but I still want her to be honest with me no matter what. Speaking of being honest, on Friday two days before I seen Amber I went to roll a bout, I wish Amber could of came but she had a wedding practice thing she had to attend. When everybody started dancing it made me want to leave because I wanted to dance with Amber but a friend of mind that is a girl offered to dance with me. I didn't mind dancing with her but I was still wishing it was Amber that I was dancing with. I felt kind of guilty for dancing with someone else and not my own girlfriend. I told her on Sunday that I danced with someone and she didn't seem to mind just so long as the other girl and I weren't grinding on each other. Even though Amber told me she didn't mind me dancing with someone else I’m still not going back to any all-night skate unless Amber is with me, one main reason for that is because well I wouldn't want Amber going to an all-night skate without me and start dancing with another guy because well she is mine and I don’t like to share plain in simple. Amber doesn't like sharing neither so that’s another main factor on why I’m not going again unless she tags along. Well anyways back to what I was talking about before. Around 9:30 my mom was coming to pick me up so when I realized I only had 20 minutes left with her I made every minute count, we hugged each other tight, kissed, told one another that we love each other and said our last goodbye’s once my mother was there. I won’t be able to see her for another 2 weeks most likely so I’m just glad I had plenty of time with her this weekend but I’m still going to miss her like crazy during these next two weeks. Most of the time my mind is clouded by darkness caused by stress and frustration but within that darkness there is a bright light that shines through it, that light is Amber. She makes me feel so free and happy, when she and I are together all my worries just go away. Time with Amber is like a real big piece of heaven and I hate leaving her because she gets real upset and sad when I do. When she does get upset when I leave I just tell her that we will be together again soon and that I will be with her no matter where she is. I explain this in further detail by telling her “ I’m the beat in your heart, I’m the sunshine in your hair, I’m the whisper in the wind, I’m the moonlight shining down, I’m the shadow on the ground, and that I’ll be with you were ever you are………my darling.”
Chapter 2
3-13-13
Well I didn't right anything yesterday because I didn't go to school. Reason being was because I was very stressed out over some messages I had seen between my girlfriend and some guy she messaged on Facebook. Later that day I re-looked at the messages and seen that the date the messages were sent was before her and I even met so I kind of felt bad for getting mad at my girlfriend over old messages so later on that day I sent her a message telling her I was sorry. I also felt like I was being kind of obsessive by looking through her messages so from now on I’m not going look through them because I trust her and I don’t want to lose her over me being to freaking nosy. Yesterday I was skyping with her; we talked for a little bit, shared a few jokes, told each other how much we love one another and etc. Well as the conversation went on she was talking when I said just out of the blue “you are so freaking beautiful” and when I said that she looked at me and just started blushing. Her cheeks were redder than an apple. I did the same thing again during the conversation except this time I said “ya know if I was with you right now I would gently move your hair out of your face, look you in the eyes, smile, and then just kiss you passionately. She blushed once more when I told her that, but this time her whole face was red. I also told her that I won’t be able to take her to prom. So for the day of prom I want to do something very memorable and meaningful with Amber, I want it to be a night neither one of us will never forget, she means the world to me and nothing makes me happier than seeing a beautiful smile on her face.
3-15-13
Yesterday I was surprised to see that Amber had gotten on Facebook early then usually because normally she has to go to fit4life after the bell rings at her school to go home. I had completely forgotten that she don't have to go to that on Thursday's or Fridays well anyways I had talked to her for a little while on Facebook then I was finally able to talk to her on the phone. I only had a little bit of time to talk to her before I had to start cleaning the house so we told each other how ours day went and told one another how much we loved each other as usual. Right before I got off the phone I went to YouTube and played the song "Wanted" and started singing it to her. I felt kind of ridiculous by singing to her over the phone rather than in person but turns out she loved every second of it. About half way through singing to her I stopped and when I did said “Are you going to keep singing?” And honestly it meant the world to me when she wanted me to keep singing. I hope I can see her sometime this weekend after she comes back from the reenactment in Georgia. Sometimes I feel like I am being too clingy with Amber sometimes but she always reassures me that I’m not being clingy and that I’m doing fine. I’m glad that she lets me know I’m doing ok but I guess the reason why I worry about being to clingy is because I am afraid that if I become too clingy she will leave me and I will be left heartbroken once again. I don’t ever want to lose Amber, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, A girl like Amber deserves to be treated right by someone who can love and care for her. Someone who will always help pick her back up on her feet when she falls, Someone that can keep her happy, and Someone that can make her feel……wanted.
3-20-13
Yesterday I was finally able to hang out with Amber once again. I met her step dad named Travis and to be honest I was so freaking nervous. I was afraid he wouldn't like me. when I first seen him he had this look on his face like just wanted to blow my brains out. Amber's mom cooked a pot roast and homemade biscuits for dinner. We all sat down at the dinner table and began eating. it was a really good meal but I noticed Amber's grandpa was just staring at me real hard when I was eating. I think he was trying to scare me and if he was well I hate to disappoint him but it didn't work. After we was done eating Amber and I ran outside and played tag. it was funny when she tried running from me because I had to slow down considering I am so much faster than her and most people I know. we took a break from playing tag and i decided to lay in the grass with her sitting beside me with my head in her lap. As I was lying there with my head in her lap she and I began looking at one another in the eyes with such a spark that made us want ot kiss each other passionately with such love so.....we did. In the mist of our lips pressing against one another's Amber's mother came outside and seen us kissing and said " Ya'll better not let Travis see you two kissing like that" After that happened we walked to the side of her house and started talking about trust so I confessed to her about what really happened at the all night skate at Roll A Bout skating Rink. After I told her about everything that had happened I told her how sorry I was multiple times and how much regret i was feeling for doing the things I did. she told me she wasn't mad at me but she was upset. I told her it was a one time mistake and that it would never happen again then I hugged her real tight. I also promised her that I would never go to another all night skate night ever again unless she came with me. we went back inside her house and watched "Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2" the movie was better than I expected. when it was time for me to go home we decided to take some last minute pictures of her and I and post them on Facebook for more memories. after we was done taking pictures we hopped in her mom's truck and headed back to my house, when we got there Amber and I went inside for a couple of minutes to have some quality time alone. She got to meet my friend Michael for the first time and right before she had to go I picked her up off her feet, wrapped her legs around my waist and began kissing her. two minutes after she left Amber called me on her mother's cell phone. she told me she was already missing me and she wanted to talk to me until she got home. I wanted nothing more than to talk to her but my head was freaking killing me so I told her I had a headache and that I loved her with all my heart but I had to get off, go to bed, and relieve the pain. She seemed upset that I had to get off the phone but she understood I had a reason for doing so.
Chapter 3
4-3-13 part 1
Well it’s been a good while since I added a new journal entry so here it is: I have been having lots of fun with my bros and especially the love of my life Amber in the past 14 days so I have lots to write about. This past Sunday I had to wake up early and get ready so I could go to Amber's house. Amber's sister Ashley wanted me to get there early. I end up getting there with plenty of time to spare but the funny thing is Ashley got there really late; she got there around 12:00 o'clock. The reason she wanted me to get there early was because we was going to the movies on a double date. We didn't go to the movie theater right away, we first went to a Mexican restaurant. After we sat down and ordered our food Amber and I began playing tag by poking one another and saying “tag your it" like two goof balls. While we were at the restaurant I was surprised Amber's sister didn't ask me any questions. When we left we went to an Easter egg hunt thing at a church where Ashley let her little girl participate in the Easter egg hunt. At the church they had some blow up things like a bouncy house and a slide thing. Even though Amber and wasn't little kids we didn't care, we went on the blow up slide anyways like to idiots because her and I don't care what people think because we are weird like that. We talked about allot of things while we were there, we talked about our relationship and how much we loved each other. We also talked about the future of our relationship and about what we wanted to do, and the what if's so we would be prepared in case something happened that is unexpected. After we left the church we went to Ashley's house for a quick minute. While we were there some girl Amber knows tried flirting with me but I didn't flirt back of course. Right before we left to go to her grandma's to drop of Ashley's kids off the girl that was flirting me gave me a hug and well it didn't sit too well with Amber. When she seen her give me a hug she quickly said in an angry voice "I'll cut a bitch" I thought it was kind of funny when she said that. After we dropped Ashley and Dylan (Ashley’s boyfriend) kids off we finally went to the movie theater to watch the movie Mama. I had been dying to see that movie and so had Amber. the movie was pretty good, Amber jumped allot during the movie but when she did I held her in my arm to try calming her down and making her feel self but to be honest I was scared myself but I tried not showing it in front of Amber. At the end of the movie Amber cried and I couldn't help myself so I called her a cry baby. She smacked my arm for calling her a cry baby. She apologized later for doing it because after we walked out of the movie theater I wouldn't hold her hand because of her slapping me. I forgave her but I thought it was funny for her to go from being mad at me one minute and then suddenly apologizes the next. After the movie Ashley took me home, Amber walked me inside the house she said hey to anyone that was at my house and before she left she gave me a hickey. It was a small one but I still appreciated it. I know that sometimes Amber has thoughts of me possibly leaving her one day but if she could look inside my mind and just see how much I truly loved her then she would know 100% that I have no intentions of leaving her. she is the reason why I live so happily every day of my life, when I'm happy she makes me even happier, when I'm sad she cheers me up, I'm always going to be there for her and she will always be there for me through thick and thin. She and I are meant to be, it was destiny that Amber and I met. She is my soul mate, I plan to marry her and be with her for the rest of my life and no one is ever going to change my mind she is too perfect to just let go. I just wanna wrap her up, wanna kiss her lips I, wanna make her feel wanted, I wanna call her mine, wanna hold her hand forever and never let her forget it because baby I wanna make you feel................wanted, because you'll always..............be wanted <3
4-3-13 part 2
Tuesday Amber's mom came to my house to pick me up so I could go to Amber's house and see her but Amber wasn't in the truck with her mom when she came and got me because she was still asleep so basically her mom and I was going to surprise her by having me get back to their house before she woke up. When we got there Amber was just waking up and she had a smile on her face when she seen but she was still a tired and she had a headache so she didn't feel like getting off the bed in their living room. I didn't mind it though, I just smiled, walked over to her and sat down right beside Amber started poking her in the face repeatedly while saying "wake up" over and over again but I didn't know she had a headache until she told me in which was after I got done poking her face. Luckily her mom had some pain killers Amber could have to take away the pain and Amber's mom and I went to MC Donald's right before we arrived at their house so Amber had some chicken nuggets waiting for her when she woke up. When she finally got out of bed she went over to the table where her chicken nuggets were and began eating them but as she was eating them I was stealing some of the nuggets left and right. She didn't seem to mine though. After she got done eating her and I sat down on the bed in the living room of her house and began taking silly little pictures. We must have taken at least eight pictures on her mom’s I Phone. I love taking Pictures with her because it builds up more memories to look back on one day. After we were done doing that she and I went to her bathroom and started taking even more random, funny, and memorable pictures and so she could straighten her air. I told Amber that her hair was fine because honestly no matter how messy her hair might be she will always look beautiful in my eyes. But she insisted on straightening it anyways so I wasn't going to argue with her because once she had her mind set on doing something she's going to do it. As they day went on we told each other how much we love one another just like any couple would do but we also had heart to hearts conversation as well. At one point I was walking around in her house and noticed a wooden sword. I thought it was pretty cool so I grab it and start swinging it around like I was some ninja or something but little did I know Amber seen me swinging the sword around. So she decided to quickly grab her mom's phone and started recorded me. After I noticed her recording it I begged her not to post it on Facebook but she did it anyway but I didn't mind because I thought it was kind of funny. After a while her step dad Travis gets home after a long day of work but luckily he wasn't watching us like hawks when he got there. He was too tired to do so and just so he went straight to his room and took a nap. Amber's mom cooked a chicken pot roast for dinner and for sides she cooked, green beans, and macaroni and cheese. The food was pretty good but Amber and I started to grow bored of sitting at the dinner table so when we as done eating we went and sat back down on the bed in her living room. Travis had to work on some chair for a friend of his so he went outside out to a building where he makes chairs and other things. When he went out there I kind of got carried away started biting Amber on the neck and accidently gave Amber a hickey and not just any hickey, it was the best hickey I have ever given her. I honestly had no intention on given her a hickey that day but sometimes shit happens. After I was done giving her an accidental hickey Amber went to the bathroom and covered it up with makeup but it was still noticeable. At one point Amber got kind of bored and started playing temple run in her mom’s phone but she had been doing that all freaking day so I decided to grab the darn phone but it down beside the bed and told her to take a break from playing games because I wanted to cuddle with her. She didn't argue with me because she liked the idea so we did. There's nothing I love more than just cuddle with the love of my life with no interruptions and just some peace and quietness. The cuddling only lasted for about two minutes because Amber's mom told her to get up and iron some reenactment clothes. After a while of ironing Amber started getting frustrated with the clothes because some of the wrinkles refused to come out so I calmly walked over to her, went right behind her and began giving her a back message to calm her down a little bit. I guess it helped because she didn't seemed as stressed while I was doing it. Well anyways considering after she got done ironing we got back on the bed and started video chatting with my friend Michael Morrison. I was trying to talk to him about a Super Nintendo he had found in his house but Amber kept biting me on the neck like a freaking vampire. It felt really good though I have to admit. We began kissing even though we was still on video chat with Michael but he didn't mind, in fact he went along with it by playing some love music in the background which was really funny. Every time he played it Amber and I would stop kissing and would start busting out laughing. Amber's mother came into the living room and told us to get ready because she was taking me home so we told Michael we had to go but before we got off of video chat with him he told Amber to bring him some cheese because he was walking over to my house after got off of web cam chat with him. Amber got some Mexican cheese out of her refrigerator. When we arrived at my house Amber walked with me inside like always. We looked around in my house and noticed Michael hadn't shown up yet so I told her I would make sure he got the cheese she had for him. My sister and her little friends were at the house so Amber gave them all a hug then her and I went to my room for a couple of minutes to get some peace and quiet. As soon as I shut my bedroom door I picked her up off her feet, wrapped her legs around my waste and began kissing her passionately and then I slowly walked over to my bed and laid her down on it. I looked into her eyes, smiled and began kissing her once again. After that she had to go but before she did I made sure she gave me the best hickey ever. I kissed her goodbye locked the door when she left and started reminiscing on every little thing we did that day. I love Amber will all my heart and soul and the fire of love for her that runs through my veins, heart and soul will never be distinguished. She is my beautiful kind, loving, and caring angel god had blessed me with and I will never give up on her no matter what. Amber is everything I ever wanted in my life and I am thankful to have her, I love you so much Amber, you make me feel like a little kid again, you make me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach every time I'm around you. Your my better half, we're like yin and yang, you need me and I need you. Nothing will ever come between us and the loving bond we have.
Chapter 4
4-16-13
This past weekend was the most memorial weekend of my life. I woke up early Saturday so I could see Amber as soon as possible. After my mom woke up she drove me to her house but unfortunately Amber wasn’t there. The night before Amber spent the night at her grandfather’s house so her grandpa probably just hadn’t brought her home yet. As I was patiently waiting for her to arrive I was talking with her older brother Josh and her uncle Charlie so the time would past by quicker as I waited for her to get there. When Amber finally arrived Josh told said “ she’s here” and as soon as he said that I quickly tried getting behind the door do she wouldn’t see my when she walked in but I didn’t do it fast enough and she seen me trying to hide behind the door. Well anyways when she caught me I laughed and so did she. After we was done laughing at my stupidity I looked her right in the eyes, smile, and then gave her a really tight hug and I didn’t let go I held her in my arms for a good minute because it felt like it had been so long since I last seen her. It’s funny because the more I right about this memorable day, the more I feel my heart beat and the feeling of butterflies just flying around in my stomach. We was both hoping that Josh would leave so her and I could have some alone time but he decided to stay which sucked for us because we knew he would be watching us like a hawk. Later that day Amber’s Sister Ashley and Ashley’s fiancé Dylan called and told us to get ready because they was taking us to their little boy’s first birthday party. Aden is the name of the little boy nut everyone calls him Blaze because he has a pass afire that says “blaze” on it and also because his middle name is Blaze. When they finally arrived to pick us up we all hopped in the car, Amber and I sat in the back with each other while holding hands. When we got to Ashley and Dylan’s house we went inside sat down while we was waiting for the food on the grill and in the kitchen to be done cooking. When all the food was ready we went into the kitchen grabbed a plate of food and chowed down. After everyone was done eating it was time to bring out the cake and sing happy birthday to Blaze. I must say it was really cool to be a part of one of Amber’s family events. After we sat Blaze down in front of a big cupcake they bought just for him it was kind of funny to watch and see what he was going to do. I’m not sure he knew what to think about the cake so he just winged it by digging his little hands into it and shoving icing in his mouth and he got a lot if the icing on his face just like any little baby would do. When Blaze was done eating his supersized cupcake Amber and I got a plate and got a piece of the cake which tasted pretty good but what I though was funny was as I was eating my piece of cake Amber decided to smear some icing on my face from her cake. I thought it was cute when she did that so I did the same to her. After her and I was done eating cake she and I went out and walked to the back yard to play and act like the silliest cutest couple on the planet. I didn’t forget how she told me that one thing she always wanted me to do for her was give her a piggy back ride and so I said to Amber “do you want that piggy back ride you have been asking for?” and when I asked her that question Amber’s face became so red and bright and she had the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face since I and her have been together. She replied by saying “really!!!!!!!!!?” and so I told her “yeah really” so squatted down and told her to hop on and so she did. I walked around with her on my back for a little bit but then I asked her “where do you wanna go” she said “the front yard” so I ran to the front yard as fast as I could with her riding on my back as she was saying “weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” in such a happy tone of voice. I didn’t go all the way to the front yard like she asked me to but I think it was because I accidentally got the porch and front yard switched around and confused myself like an idiot. I don’t think she minded though I think she was just happy to receive the piggy back ride she has been asking for me to give her for such a long time. After the party was over and everything was all said and done we went back to Amber house but before we went back we stopped at Dollar general because at the party her uncle Charlie had given all the kids one dollar each heck he even gave me one surprisingly. Amber and I was walking in dollar general holding hands like we always do and as we are walking around Amber found the perfect thing to buy. It was strawberry lip gloss and not only did she like it but so did I and I have to admit when her and I kissed it sure did feel good on my lips. When we left Dollar General and went back to her house she called her mom and asked if I could spend the night considering the fact that Ashley, Dylan, Charlie would be there to watch us and make sure we wouldn’t do anything. Thankfully her mom said I could but only with the condition that Travis could not find out or be told by anyone one. We agreed to the condition and circumstance and proceeded to have the best day and……night that she and I will never forget. The next day was when I woke up It felt so cool to be able to wake up with her wrapped in my arms and it was even more memorable to see her beautiful face and smile when she seen I was still there with her that morning. When everybody was awake we all got ready, got our shoes on and went to a flea market where I bought necklaces for Amber and I even though she told me not to get her one. When it started to become too hot we left the flea market and went to sir pizza to get a bite to eat. Then after that we went back to Ambers for a little while longer before her sister had to take me back home. When they were bringing me back home the song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes came on so I started singing to Amber like any good boyfriend should do for his girlfriend and my singing sure did put a smile on her face and made her cheeks rosy red. When we was finally at my house she walked in side with me for a couple of minutes and said hey to my mom and little sister then went with me to my room so she could give me a hickey but what she didn’t know was I had a surprised gift for her. As she was giving me a hickey I reached into my dresser beside my bed and pulled out a little box that had a heart shaped necklace in it and said “I hope you like it”. When she seen it her face lit up so bright and she had the prettiest smile on her face. She was so happy I got her that necklace, she gave me a hug and a very passionate kiss then after that she had to go. I love making Amber blush and every time I get to see her I just love giving her hugs it’s like my favorite thing to do because she’s everything to me and I would do anything for her. She is my world and I don’t just want to make her feel wanted I want to make her feel needed, special, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, and free as a bird high in the sky like the stars in the night and the sun during the day. She’s my beautiful angel and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else, she’s the best thing a man could ever ask for <3
5-1-13
Amber and I broke up recently because she said she felt that I didn't trust her and that maybe she and I just needed some time apart. I didn't really understand it at the time and I got very upset and angry but the other day I was able to talk with Amber over the phone and I asked her to tell me the honest truth on why she really broke up with me. She told me it was because her parents practically kept bugging her to and eventually forced her to mainly because of her and I having sex behind there backs. But I wish I knew that before I told a girl I knew that I would give her a chance to date me because she has liked me for the longest time. After Amber and I broke up, Krystal asked me If I would date her and I told her I would give her a chance because it seemed like I wasn't going to be with Amber again anytime soon but after I talked with Amber on the phone and cleared everything up with her it made me wish I didn't asked Krystal out today. I feel bad but not only did I ask her out but I sang to her while I was doing it so when I broke up with her at lunch today I felt like a total jackass. Surprisingly when I told her she actually understood and took the brake up way better then I thought she would but her best friend Bridget however did not. Bridget was pretty upset with me and thought I broke Krystal's heart. I tried to explain and tell her that it wasn't my intention to do that but she wouldn't listen she just stormed off and sat back down at the lunch table. I kind of figured Bridget would react the way she did, I mean after all I did use to date her so I knew her personality pretty well. I just hope now that I got all that out of the way hopefully I can talk with Amber's parents and try my best to convince them to allow Amber to be with me once again. If things don't go as planned and Amber and I don't get back together like I hope then oh well I guess I'll just be single for a while to figure things out and I won't ever forget the amazing relationship she and I had with one another. This chapter of my life may have ended but its one chapter that I'll never forget.
Pictures from this time of my life that I had with Amber are below.
I love her so much, she is more beautiful than an angel, brighter than the sun, and better than anything I could every ask for. If I had one wish I would say I wouldn't need it because having her is better than anything I could have ever wished for. She is the girl of my dreams and I don't ever want to lose her because she is a one of a kind girl that is hard to come across, she is like a rare unicorn, so mystical, out of this world and amazing in so many ways. I love you Amber ♥
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJDHQ3NzljI&feature=youtu.be<----------------------- link to the tribute video I made for Amber, I just know she will love it <3
her niece looks so lonely in these pictures while Amber and I are like cuddle bugs xD
I seriously think her niece was trying to photo bomb us xD but its ok because it just create more precious memories.
I love Amber so much and her little niece is so funny xD
we kinda messed up on the 1st photo but oh well. I love how she dont get mad when I joke around, I love how she forgives me when I mess up and I love how she likes my clingyness, she's the best
she's so beautiful even though she don't believe me when I tell her she is but im sure it means the world to her to here her boyfriend call her beautiful day in and day out I love her with all my heart, she's my better half <3
Holding her by the waste taking silly pictures and being with her every chance I get, I love her so much <3
I love her so much, shes my world, my everything. I hope one day she won't have the fear of me leaving her because that's something I will never do, she is to amazing, I would be crazy to leave her <3
The best day ever with my goofy goober angel <3
Holding my beautiful angel while taking silly little pictures for more great memories.
Spending some quality time with My NerdyBirdy at her ex best friends house.
I got to spend time with her at her house so we decided to take some funny pictures
What you see below is two people that love each other very much and would do anything for one another.
Her kiss is so sweet and elligent, her touch is so warm, and her eyes are so beautiful, everything about her is just mind blowing.
Her kiss is so sweet and elligent, her touch is so warm, and her eyes are so beautiful, everything about her is just mind blowing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cipv7xabve4 <-----------copy and past in the search box so you can listen to the song on this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZqvXWSMEMk <-----------copy and past in the search box so you can listen to the song on this link
She takes my breath away, she clouds my thoughts with nothing but pure happiness, i'm not sure what I would do with out her in my life.
holding her, loving her, singing to her, and making memories with her, I love Amber so very much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3Vcf3ZchmA <-----------copy and past in the search box so you can listen to the song on this link
This was the first day Amber and I met and started talking to one another which led to the best relationship ever <3
Chapter 4: Trying to move
5-8-13 I have been talking with an old friend of mine lately. Her name is Christan and to be honest I had a major crush on her when I was little. She just got out of a three year relationship so I’m not smothering her or rush her to be in a relationship with me. The guy she was with broke her heart into a million pieces and I would love to do nothing more than to mend her heart but I’m not sure how. Most of the time when I talk with someone that I like I usually know what to do or say but when I’m talking to Christan my mind just goes blank and I just think “ what does a guy like me gotta do to be with an amazing girl like that”. I know I use to tell Amber how amazing she was but she isn’t as amazing as I thought she was, she changed, she just isn't....who she use to. Even though I haven’t got to know Christan that well just yet I just have a feeling she truly is a one of a kind girl. I told Christan recently that I liked her but she told me that she isn't ready for another relationship just yet and I completely understand where she is coming from because neither am I, I just want to talk with her and see where it goes. She told me she would talk to me for a while and see where it goes and when she told me that I was so freaking happy. Now I sit back and try to figure out what I should say to her because I want to be able to tell her sweet things here and there but I don’t want to drive her away. Let’s be honest, when I say Christan is a beautiful girl I mean she is a very beautiful girl that is so out of my league so in order for her to give me a chance sometime in the future, I have to do everything exactly right because one false move and I’m done. Last night I was asking my mom for advice on what I should do to make sure I don’t make any false moves that would make Christan run for the hills and unfortunately she wasn’t much help, she gave me very little advice, if any at all. I guess I’m going to just wing it and see how it goes and just hope I make the right moves without doing too much. When I asked my sister for advice well she however was able to give me a few tips. She told me to complement her hair, eyes, her smile and things like that. The funny thing about the advice she game is that I actually knew it but I guess it all goes back to what I was saying before, my mind goes blank when I try talking with Christan. I think she is my first real crush I have had in over two years. When I say I haven’t had a crush in over two years well what I mean is that there are girls I have liked over the years but most of the time I know what to say but when it comes to someone I would consider to be my crush, I end up not knowing what to say and my I mind just goes blank. So I know Christan isn't just someone I’m trying to get with, she is someone I truly do like allot and I will probably begin to find even more reasons to like her, the more she and I talk and spend time with each other and just find out what we have in common with one another.
5-13-13
Well allot has happened in the past few days, Christan doesn’t really seem like she wants to talk and to be honest, I’m just a mess. I want to talk with Bridget in hopes that she will give me another shot but I’m not so sure she is going to and it really pisses me off in a way because she told me that she wasn’t a second choice or a rebound so to speak. The reason why it makes me very angry is because I told her that I would no longer do that and now I was going to make her my first priority so I could prove to her that I really want to be with her but as soon as I do she says to me “Well don’t get your hopes up Dre because there is this other guy that wants to talk to me”. And when she said that it made feel like I was just some rebound for her if her and this guy she is supposedly talking to doesn’t work out. So later today I’m most likely going to talk to her about that and tell her how I really feel about the whole situation. I know Bridget has had her heart broken so many times in the past, even by me and I regret it allot because now she doesn’t know what to believe, hell she don’t even believe in true love anymore. I know she probably thinks I’m just another guy that is just saying sweet words with no meaning behind it but when I say I really do care about her and want to be with her, I really do mean it. I could probably sit here and talk about how Bridget and I’s first relationship together from the first day to the last day when it ended. I’m not sure if people would find that creepy or very thoughtful but to I think of it as something meaningful something I have kept safe under lock within my heart. Even when I was amber for I still though about Bridget, everywhere I went she was still on my mind and no matter what I tried to do I couldn’t get her out, I just couldn’t erase her from my memory. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I still love her regardless of who I have been with and regardless if she doesn’t love me back. I know she may not be looking for some long term relationship and she just want to date people but I’m willing to take that risk. I admit I miss the old days when I could wrap her in my arms, tickle her, buy her Takis, buying her things when she told me not to, singing to her on Skype, telling her sweet things that would make her blush like crazy, holding her hand, writing her letters, and helping her through the tough times in her life. I know I may have my hopes up way to high but I don’t care, I’ll take my chances. There’s a few guys I knew that Bridget liked in the past and when I would ask them if they would give her a chance they would say “No” or “she’s to Hyper and loud for me”. I never really did understand that because I’ve always like how hyper she was, she’s literally so much different than other girls, Bridget is……exotic and I like that about her. Again this all may sound weird or obsessive but I don’t care what other people think, I’m just saying what my hearts wanted to say for a very long time. So umm yeah hopefully if I just keep trying and show her I really want to be with her then maybe she’ll give me another chance.
chapter 5: A 2nd Chance
well, allot has happened in such a short amount of time. I have been such a freaking man whore lately, dating girl after girl but only because I was trying to cover up the pain of not having Amber. Recently I messaged Amber on Facebook and told her how I truly felt about her. When I did she sent me a message back saying " I broke up with him...." When she said that I was so happy because I knew she did it so her and I could be with one another once again. I'm not gonna lie, I cried tears of joy and honestly I don't think I have ever cried tears of happiness before. I swear it felt like I was going to have a heart attack from so much joy and happiness from Amber giving me the second chance I thought I would never receive. I can't wait until the next time I see her because when I do I'm going to give her the tightest, and most meaningful hug and a very passionate, loving kiss as well.
5-8-13 I have been talking with an old friend of mine lately. Her name is Christan and to be honest I had a major crush on her when I was little. She just got out of a three year relationship so I’m not smothering her or rush her to be in a relationship with me. The guy she was with broke her heart into a million pieces and I would love to do nothing more than to mend her heart but I’m not sure how. Most of the time when I talk with someone that I like I usually know what to do or say but when I’m talking to Christan my mind just goes blank and I just think “ what does a guy like me gotta do to be with an amazing girl like that”. I know I use to tell Amber how amazing she was but she isn’t as amazing as I thought she was, she changed, she just isn't....who she use to. Even though I haven’t got to know Christan that well just yet I just have a feeling she truly is a one of a kind girl. I told Christan recently that I liked her but she told me that she isn't ready for another relationship just yet and I completely understand where she is coming from because neither am I, I just want to talk with her and see where it goes. She told me she would talk to me for a while and see where it goes and when she told me that I was so freaking happy. Now I sit back and try to figure out what I should say to her because I want to be able to tell her sweet things here and there but I don’t want to drive her away. Let’s be honest, when I say Christan is a beautiful girl I mean she is a very beautiful girl that is so out of my league so in order for her to give me a chance sometime in the future, I have to do everything exactly right because one false move and I’m done. Last night I was asking my mom for advice on what I should do to make sure I don’t make any false moves that would make Christan run for the hills and unfortunately she wasn’t much help, she gave me very little advice, if any at all. I guess I’m going to just wing it and see how it goes and just hope I make the right moves without doing too much. When I asked my sister for advice well she however was able to give me a few tips. She told me to complement her hair, eyes, her smile and things like that. The funny thing about the advice she game is that I actually knew it but I guess it all goes back to what I was saying before, my mind goes blank when I try talking with Christan. I think she is my first real crush I have had in over two years. When I say I haven’t had a crush in over two years well what I mean is that there are girls I have liked over the years but most of the time I know what to say but when it comes to someone I would consider to be my crush, I end up not knowing what to say and my I mind just goes blank. So I know Christan isn't just someone I’m trying to get with, she is someone I truly do like allot and I will probably begin to find even more reasons to like her, the more she and I talk and spend time with each other and just find out what we have in common with one another.
5-13-13
Well allot has happened in the past few days, Christan doesn’t really seem like she wants to talk and to be honest, I’m just a mess. I want to talk with Bridget in hopes that she will give me another shot but I’m not so sure she is going to and it really pisses me off in a way because she told me that she wasn’t a second choice or a rebound so to speak. The reason why it makes me very angry is because I told her that I would no longer do that and now I was going to make her my first priority so I could prove to her that I really want to be with her but as soon as I do she says to me “Well don’t get your hopes up Dre because there is this other guy that wants to talk to me”. And when she said that it made feel like I was just some rebound for her if her and this guy she is supposedly talking to doesn’t work out. So later today I’m most likely going to talk to her about that and tell her how I really feel about the whole situation. I know Bridget has had her heart broken so many times in the past, even by me and I regret it allot because now she doesn’t know what to believe, hell she don’t even believe in true love anymore. I know she probably thinks I’m just another guy that is just saying sweet words with no meaning behind it but when I say I really do care about her and want to be with her, I really do mean it. I could probably sit here and talk about how Bridget and I’s first relationship together from the first day to the last day when it ended. I’m not sure if people would find that creepy or very thoughtful but to I think of it as something meaningful something I have kept safe under lock within my heart. Even when I was amber for I still though about Bridget, everywhere I went she was still on my mind and no matter what I tried to do I couldn’t get her out, I just couldn’t erase her from my memory. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I still love her regardless of who I have been with and regardless if she doesn’t love me back. I know she may not be looking for some long term relationship and she just want to date people but I’m willing to take that risk. I admit I miss the old days when I could wrap her in my arms, tickle her, buy her Takis, buying her things when she told me not to, singing to her on Skype, telling her sweet things that would make her blush like crazy, holding her hand, writing her letters, and helping her through the tough times in her life. I know I may have my hopes up way to high but I don’t care, I’ll take my chances. There’s a few guys I knew that Bridget liked in the past and when I would ask them if they would give her a chance they would say “No” or “she’s to Hyper and loud for me”. I never really did understand that because I’ve always like how hyper she was, she’s literally so much different than other girls, Bridget is……exotic and I like that about her. Again this all may sound weird or obsessive but I don’t care what other people think, I’m just saying what my hearts wanted to say for a very long time. So umm yeah hopefully if I just keep trying and show her I really want to be with her then maybe she’ll give me another chance.
chapter 5: A 2nd Chance
well, allot has happened in such a short amount of time. I have been such a freaking man whore lately, dating girl after girl but only because I was trying to cover up the pain of not having Amber. Recently I messaged Amber on Facebook and told her how I truly felt about her. When I did she sent me a message back saying " I broke up with him...." When she said that I was so happy because I knew she did it so her and I could be with one another once again. I'm not gonna lie, I cried tears of joy and honestly I don't think I have ever cried tears of happiness before. I swear it felt like I was going to have a heart attack from so much joy and happiness from Amber giving me the second chance I thought I would never receive. I can't wait until the next time I see her because when I do I'm going to give her the tightest, and most meaningful hug and a very passionate, loving kiss as well.